-Life Update: Spring 2020-

Ahhhh, quarantine…

Nothing better than a nice virus to kick off this year’s spring season, am I right? In all seriousness, how is this whole quarantine time treating you? DM me, I’d love to hear about it! But anyway, the last time I wrote was March 7th, those were simpler times. Since then, my job was put on hold, the church was moved to online, I purchased a few things I can’t use because I have nowhere to use them to and I’ve made little to no human contact besides my immediate family. I know I have the better half of this situation, but it’s still hard. I’m blessed with my health and family and honestly, besides church and work, my school life stayed exactly the same and as of right now my graduation has not been postponed. That’s basically it, that is my life now. School, sleep, Netflix, not always in that order. I even mix it up and FaceTime my boyfriend to watch movies streamed on websites that we can watch together whilst constantly wondering when I’ll get to see him in person again. I want to be open and use this post as a sort of diary entry. Sometimes a girl has to write down her thoughts, you know?

Dear Diary,

Ok no, I won’t go that far… But I do want to share something, especially for our future selves who might be reading this. Things are getting heavier every day. More and more devastation prowls around us like the devil himself. Every trip to the grocery store puts you at risk, and not just virus risk, but crazy people ready to fight for the last pack of toilet paper risk. People are tense, what used to be a friendly hug hello is now a threat to everyone who comes in contact with either party. Trump declared it a state of emergency and now Florida sent out a statewide stay at home order. If I didn’t know any better I’d think it was a zombie apocalypse. Unpopular opinion, but I know people were more scared of people than they were of the zombies in The Walking Dead. Anxiety builds up in everyone, myself included, at the sound of the news anchorman’s voice or the sight of the latest article. It’s getting worse. People forget about God’s presence because no one can see Him as all the clouds of fear cover His light. But people forget that His light is behind those clouds. Nothing can remove God’s light, it’s always been right there. Still, I long for a hug from Jesus every day as I watch things get scarier and scarier.

One late night, I sat on the bathroom floor crying out to God just wishing I could physically feel his arms around me; wishing a hug could just mend my heart and wipe away the anxiety. I was frustrated and just wanted to press my head to His chest and hear His heart beat for humanity. I went online to look for encouraging blog posts and I found one titled, “How do you hug God?” I remember reading, “I even dare to pout, ‘unfair’…what was he thinking, leaving us here without his physical presence? 33 years doesn’t seem long enough. I wasn’t around then!” I agreed. I even nodded my head and shook my hand in the air as I spout, “exactly!” But, my annoyance was quickly swept from my face as I continued to read, “I live in the unshakable kingdom in a way that those in Jesus’ time did not…I live with the presence of the living God…I am filled with the holiest spirit there ever could be. Do I still want to give God a hug? Yes. But until I can, I’ll hug Him with my songs, prayers, and by giving Him thanks.” Let me tell you I loved this post so much I saved it in my notes. I was so filled with peace that it felt like I actually got a hug from Him. In these desperate times, we all need to hug Him with our songs and prayers and He’ll hug us through His word. The whole world is getting heavier and darker, but that doesn’t mean that his light is gone, it just means we need to look behind the clouds. – A

Click here if you’d like to read the post I mentioned!